Ever had one of those days when you question everything about your existence, why you do the things you do and whether those things are really passions or just activities that have become identity-driven routine?… Well today has been one of those days for me. On reflection my last 10 years have fundamentally been defined by wading through the vast and ferociously competitive, and often demoralising world of music. There have been highs of course, but in recent times those highs seem more of a distant, almost mythological memory. Deep down I know I’m truly passionate about great music, but all too often failure or I falling short of my own expectations crush that passion. It’s this increasing level of disappointment that today is once again causing me to question whether this has just become an identity maintaining routine or something I truly care about.


Truth is that whilst in the middle of this malaise it’s hard to know which of these is fact or faction, but what Ive learnt over the years, having been here many times before, is that decisions made whilst in this heightened emotional state tend to not be the best, and anxiety based decisions never work out well either. So what to do? Well interestingly as I write this I’m reminded of a recent quote by the Welsh International Football manager Chris Coleman, post their historic victory over the Belgians in the Euro 2016 quarterfinals:

“If you work hard enough and you’re not afraid to dream then you’re not afraid to fail…”I’m not afraid to fail. Everybody fails.  I have had more failures than I’ve had success.” (Chris Coleman, July 2016)

Now I dont know the exact context of this quote, but it is well documented that as a player Coleman’s career was drastically cut short by injury, and therefore we can surmise that at that time his dream of performing at the highest level was irreparably shattered. However despite injury and age being against him it would appear he never gave up hope and rather than quitting and questioning his passions he revisualised them as a manger, a move which ultimately led him to achieving his lifelong ambition this year at Euro 2016. Furthermore what’s interesting about this enforced change of context is that his dream was no longer purely about himself, but rather about a squad of 23 players and an entire nation, which leads me to consider that truly satisfying passions/achievements may never be realised if they are entirely about ourselves…

So why Lushlife ‘Body Double’, simply really, it was playing whilst I was writing this post, and it intrinsically felt as though its narrative matched my own thoughts and state of contemplation. Plus its a great sounding record.

Lushlife / CSLSX – Body Double [Out Now]